How to Get the Most Out of Premarital Counseling

If you are engaged (or thinking of getting engaged), going to premarital counseling with your future spouse would be a wise thing to do.

The Bible reveals to us that marriage is God’s idea. It is intended to be a lifelong covenant between a man and a woman, and its purpose is to glorify Him. It makes sense then that we take marriage seriously and give it proper consideration before we walk down the aisle.

5 Tips for Making the Most of Premarital Counseling

How can you make the best use of premarital counseling? Here are five tips:

1. Choose a trained biblical counselor.

For Christians, receiving counseling from secular professionals is unlikely to align with the Bible’s teaching about marriage and relationships, and the help you will get will be limited at best.

Remember, marriage is God’s idea and His design for marriage is what will work and allow you both to flourish. Therefore, choose a counselor who has been trained in biblical marriage counseling and who “walks the talk” in his or her own life.

2. Commit to seeing the premarital counseling process through.

This life is a busy one, and it is easy to be distracted from something important like premarital counseling. Pray for discernment and persistence as you make room in your schedule for counseling and the homework it requires. Make it a priority and communicate this to friends and family.

This is good practice for “leaving and cleaving,” the process of leaving your parents and creating your own new family with your future spouse. It prepares your “old” family for the upcoming change as well as establishes the habit of prioritizing your marriage for your soon-to-be “new” family.

3. Take a notebook and make notes.

Take a notebook with you to premarital counseling sessions and jot down things to remember or do. Don’t just rely on your memory. If you make notes, you can refer to them even years later and continue to reap the benefits of solid biblical counseling. Between sessions, you can make note of things you want to ask or tell the counselor at your next meeting.

4. Do the premarital counseling homework assigned to you.

Like most things in life, what you put in is what you get out. The homework assigned by a biblical counselor is usually designed to engage your thinking and inspire reflection on issues that have been raised during your sessions. It both accelerates and solidifies the change process. Take the time to do the homework and you will be surprised at how much more you both will grow.

5. Invite input from wise Christians who know you.

Good biblical premarital counseling will give you and your future spouse lots to think about. It is helpful to talk through some of your learning points and possible issues with other wise Christians who know you. This can be done separately or as a couple.

Inviting their feedback and counsel serves to build your relationship with them and allows them to support you and your potential marriage as well. You might find that they have valuable insights to share or concerns that you might not have thought of. Remember the wisdom of Proverbs:

Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed. – Proverbs 15:22, NIV

Seeking professional help

If you are a Christian couple who are either engaged or thinking about getting married, please consider biblical premarital counseling. Contact our office and make an appointment with a trained counselor at Keller Christian Counseling in Texas today.