The Importance and Value of Female Friendships

The Christian apologist, author, and professor C.S. Lewis once wrote that “Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art… It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.” Having good friends is one of life’s great pleasures, and you can count yourself blessed if you have good friends in your life. Women need committed, meaningful female friendships in their lives for their well-being.

Why Friendship Is Important

Everyone needs friends because life simply doesn’t work as well without them. We are deeply social creatures, and that’s how the Lord designed us. Many cultures around the world recognize this truth, that we are most fully human and ourselves when we’re in healthy and meaningful relationships with others. That is why at the heart of the universe is love – love of God, and love of our neighbor as we love ourselves (Matthew 22:34-40; 1 John 3:16).

Friendship is a form of connection with another human being that knits one’s life with a richness that allows us to thrive and not simply survive. Women need friendships of various kinds, including with other women. While it may seem like it’s entirely unnecessary to categorize according to gender, there are some good reasons to speak specifically about female friendships.

For one thing, fairly or unfairly, women’s relationships with one another aren’t always portrayed in a positive light, particularly on social media and other platforms. This can create the impression that women struggle to form healthy relationships with one another. This can be unhelpful and doesn’t honor the many healthy and fruitful relationships that do exists between women.

Another reason to commend female friendships and their uniqueness is that friendship with a guy can become complicated with the tension of romantic possibility. Additionally, how men and women relate won’t be the same as how women relate to each other out of the many common experiences of womanhood. There are some things a woman will get intuitively about other women’s experiences without needing to explain it.

Female friendships are thus important for many reasons, including:

Emotional support

Women can offer unique emotional support, understanding, and validation to one another. Through their shared and unique experiences of things such as relationships, motherhood, and handling societal pressures and expectations, women can create strong bonds and healthy social networks that promote well-being and provide needed support.

Networking and community

Female friendships can provide a sense of community and networking opportunities. Further, being in community allows women to inspire and support each other’s personal growth, self-improvement, and empowerment. Female friends can also serve as role models and mentors, offering guidance and encouragement for other women (Titus 2:1-5).

Stress relief

Life can be hard. We all need an oasis where we can just be. Female friendships can offer much-needed stress relief, laughter, and joy. One-way relationships can do this is by furnishing diverse perspectives. Women from diverse backgrounds and experiences can bring insights to situations that include novel solutions and a new appreciation of existing blessings.

Improved mental health

Studies indicate that strong social connections like those formed in female friendships can improve mental health and well-being. When you don’t feel alone and have support to tackle life’s challenges, that’s a huge help for your emotional and mental well-being.

Celebrating successes

Lastly, women can celebrate one another’s successes and accomplishments, fostering a supportive and uplifting environment with others who understand the value of those wins.

Some Challenges in Forming Healthy Female Friendships

Having healthy, positive interactions and relationships with other people is a desirable goal, but it isn’t always easy. Sometimes we’re the problem. At other times, the other person bears the bulk of the responsibility. There are also many situations in which neither or both parties are to blame for the relationship breaking down, which is heartbreaking in its own way.

Identifying some common challenges to forming healthy friendships between women will help women to pinpoint and troubleshoot issues in their own relationships. Healthy, joyful, and nurturing relationships are possible. One way to get there is to understand all the ways that things can go wrong.

Societal pressure and stereotypes can play a role in breaking relationships down. People can be highly competitive, and often this competitive streak can be drummed into us through nurture or our circumstances. Women are often socialized to compete against each other or to view each other as a threat. This can undermine relationships by poisoning the well and perpetuating harmful stereotypes, thus making genuine connections harder.

Trust issues are another challenge in forming healthy relationships. Whether stemming from past experiences, betrayals, or fear of vulnerability. If trust-building is hindered, the health of the relationships is undermined. Under such conditions, opening up and being vulnerable can be daunting, making deep connections challenging to accomplish.

Another concern is when communication barriers get in the way of making meaningful connections. Sometimes, different communication styles, passive-aggressive behavior, or unaddressed conflicts can create distance between people. In addition to this, an over-reliance on digital communication can also lead to shallow connections and misunderstandings between women.

It has been said that comparison is the thief of joy. It can destroy relationships. Envy and comparison over accomplishments or appearance can foster resentment and jealousy in a friendship group. Instead of celebrating one another, the relationships can become toxic. Comparisons and envy can stem from unresolved insecurities and a lack of contentment.

Deep and meaningful relationships are also possibly hindered or complicated by life transitions and changes. If one or more friends in a circle experience a shift in their life circumstances like moving, job changes, or parenthood, their friendship can become strained. A friendship can weather these changes and transitions, but it requires intentionality.

Regarding intentionality, another challenge for relationships is the reality of time constraints and priorities. Sometimes busy schedules, family, and work demands leave little time for nurturing friendships. The relationships can suffer from benign neglect.

Lastly, friendships can also falter due to their dynamics if they aren’t handled well. If power imbalances between friends exist, rooted in differences in social status, income, or influence, these can seriously undermine the sense of cohesion and mutuality that ought to exist between friends. If you’re starting your friendship lacking shared experiences or interests, it can be hard to maintain common ground.

Nurturing Your Friendships

Friendships between women are a vital part of many women’s lives. These relationships are spaces where women can offer one another support, connection, and joy. However, it’s not always easy for women to form these healthy and nurturing relationships for a variety of reasons. Being able to form deep, uplifting, and lasting relationships takes skill. It can be a bit of a growth curve.

Some of the key values for forming healthy female relationships include:

Desiring diversity and inclusivity Friendships between women will come in all shapes, sizes, and forms between people from different backgrounds. Some of the richest and most rewarding relationships are those that challenge our assumptions about the world and our place in it. Seek to embrace diversity and inclusivity in your friendship group to foster deeper connections and richer life experiences.

Communication and vulnerability In your relationships, open, honest, and vulnerable communication is key to building trust and intimacy. Healthy relationships will often teach you new skills and alert you to unhelpful patterns in your life. Remaining open to others as you grow together is key.

Conflict resolution In relationships of any kind, conflicts can arise. However, working through issues and apologizing when needed can strengthen friendship bonds. You need to understand how you and the other person approach conflict. Develop tools to communicate clearly to address the issues at stake without blaming, shaming, or otherwise undermining the integrity and dignity of the other person.

Boundaries and respect Establishing and respecting boundaries is essential for healthy female friendships. You need to know and communicate your limits and be willing to hear and respect the limits of others. Without respect, the relationship will crumble eventually.

Self-care and prioritization Nurturing female friendships requires prioritizing time and energy for these relationships. Even if the friendship is a long-distance one, it can thrive if you put mutual effort into it. If you need time to take care of and meet your own needs, take that time, and communicate it to your friend.

Support for Building Healthy Relationships

If you find yourself struggling to initiate or maintain healthy friendships with other women, it may be best you seek help through individual counseling. Your counselor can help you understand yourself and your relationships better. They can help you to see the patterns that could be undermining your relationships, working with you to learn new ways of relating to other women.

Is it your time to reach out? Do you feel ready to ask for help? If so, call our offices today to get started. We can secure an appointment with one of the skilled therapists in our practice. They are eager to walk alongside your journey to relational wholeness.