Practical Strategies for Handling Conflict in the Workplace

Experiences that involve conflict in the workplace can be frustrating and challenging and affect how happy you are with your job. They can also hurt your work performance and productivity. If you have ever had a coworker who does things that annoy you, a colleague who shoots down all your ideas, or a supervisor who nitpicks everything you do, you are familiar with conflict in the workplace.

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters – Colossians 3:23, NIV

Conflict in the workplace is a common result of disagreement among employees due to opposing beliefs, personalities, preferences, or work styles. Whether it’s manifested as angry outbursts, verbal insults, bullying, gossip, harassment, or lack of cooperation, some form of it is inevitable when you have a mix of people with different backgrounds and perspectives working together side by side. It is rare for two people to think and act exactly the same.

When left unchecked, conflict in the workplace can create tension and frustration, lower morale, and interfere with work productivity, but it doesn’t have to be this way. When addressed and dealt with in an appropriate way, conflict can be a healthy thing, leading to better understanding, better ideas, better working relationships, and positive, creative change.

Keeping the lines of communication open is key. Inadequate communication is one of the most common causes of conflict.

It’s hard to grasp just how differently we can all see the world. When we can see other people’s perspectives, we understand why, from their point of view, their actions make sense. – Gretchen Rubin

Forms of Conflict in the Workplace

Personality clashes

Personality-based conflicts are the most common type of conflict in the workplace and can be the most stressful and unpleasant. Often they are rooted in a lack of understanding and unwillingness to accept someone else’s style of getting work done or their approach to problem solving.

Poor communication

Different communication styles can lead to misunderstandings between employees or between employees and supervisors.

Task-based conflicts

When individuals in an interdependent project network fail to coordinate their tasks in a timely fashion so that everyone can successfully get their part done to meet project deadlines, conflict is inevitable.

Leadership conflicts

Leadership styles that clash with employees’ personalities and work styles can be stressful and lead to conflict.

Unclear job expectations

Unless job expectations are clearly defined so employees know exactly what is expected of them, work may be left undone. Confusion over who can or should be doing a particular task may lead to finger-pointing to deflect blame, and conflict over who is responsible for what.

Competition over resources

Competition for limited resources can lead to conflict and resentment between co-workers or between employees and management when one group has access to assets the others do not.

A difficult boss

A boss who exhibits traits such as micromanaging, lack of communication, verbal bullying, inflexible thinking, or rudeness, is likely to make his or her employees feel stressed, demotivated, disrespected, unheard and unenthusiastic about their job.

“If you can learn a simple trick…you’ll get along a lot better with all kinds of folks. You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view…until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.” – Atticus Finch, To Kill a Mockingbird

Practical Strategies For Handling Conflict In The Workplace

Find a private place to talk

Arrange to have a conversation with your co-worker or supervisor to settle your differences and clear the air. This can help open the lines of communication between you and clear up any misunderstandings. Choose a neutral place that is free of distractions.

Have the conversation in person

Talk to the other person face-to-face (as opposed to text or e-mail) before the tension between the two of you has a chance to escalate.

Remain calm

Clearly express what’s bothering you in a calm, professional way without trying to justify yourself.

Be respectful

Avoid blaming or bringing up issues from the past,

Listen carefully

Listen carefully and don’t interrupt. Conflict is often fueled by jumping to wrong conclusions and by misunderstandings. Try to keep an open mind and understand the other person’s point of view. Chances are they may find you challenging to deal with as well, or perhaps they’re not even aware that you’re upset. Appreciate that their opinion may be just as valid as yours.

Use non-defensive language

Share your opinions and feelings using “I” statements rather than “you” ones.

Be objective

Separate the person from the problem. Stay focused on the behavior or set of circumstances rather than on personal differences or values. Look at the situation objectively to see if there may be some truth to what your coworker or supervisor is saying.

Identify points of agreement and disagreement

Resolving the conflict involves understanding the other person’s perspective as well as having them understand yours.

Be willing to compromise

Let your aim be to solve the problem rather than to win an argument. Being right is not what’s most important. It may be a situation where it’s okay to agree to disagree.

Come up with a plan for working on the conflict

Identify possible solutions that would work for both of you and commit to implementing them.

Keep it confidential

Don’t try to look for confirmation that you are right by venting about the person you are having a conflict with to others. Avoid gossiping or complaining about them.

Dealing With Conflict In The Workplace In A God-Honoring Way

Pray about it. Pray over the situation and the person you are having issues with at work. Place the outcome in God’s hands.

But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. – Matthew 5:44-45, NIV

Choose not to retaliate

Rather than retaliating or lashing out, choose to be both gracious and kind. Over time it will provide evidence of the value of your character and make you more desirable to work with.

On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. — Romans 12:20-21, NIV

Avoid contributing to the problem

As much as possible, stay clear of situations that will lead to confrontations and avoid holding grudges about issues that have already been dealt with and resolved.

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. – Romans 12:18, NIV

Follow Jesus’ model for conflict resolution

If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector. – Matthew 18:15-17, NIV

If you are struggling with conflict in your workplace and need more help than what this article could provide, please give us a call today to meet with a counselor. We would be happy to answer your questions and/or set up an appointment to discuss how we can help you manage the challenges you are facing and walk you through the healing process.