Signs That You May Be Experiencing Delayed Grief

It’s never too late to process complex emotions and experiences. When you go through something difficult, such as the loss of a loved one, you may not necessarily have the capacity to cope with the emotions and implications of it all. Perhaps you were caught up with making sure everyone else was okay, or you were the one responsible for all the details. You did not have an opportunity to catch up with your own feelings and you may be experiencing delayed grief.

Grief is a natural response to the loss of something or someone significant in your life. That loss may be the death of a loved one, a loved one struggling with a terminal illness, losing a spouse through divorce, going through a miscarriage, a job loss, or the end of a cherished dream.

Grief, however, doesn’t all happen at once, nor is it predictable. Sometimes, one may experience what’s known as delayed grief.

Breaking down delayed grief

It’s commonly understood that when you experience a loss, grief follows quickly upon its heels. However, grief is complicated, and it doesn’t always manifest directly after an experience of loss. One’s grief may be delayed. With delayed grief, you may experience the symptoms of grief weeks, months, or even years after the fact. This delay can occur as a result of several factors, including the following:

• Being preoccupied by other things, like funeral arrangements.
• Experiencing shock at the loss.
• Having unresolved feelings toward the person who passed away and toward your relationship.
• Feeling overwhelmed.
• Not having enough support from other loved ones.
• Having a personality that typically avoids emotions and dealing with them.

The emotions of shock, anger, denial, sadness, and acceptance are often experienced and processed in the days and weeks following the loss. However, delayed grief happens when you cannot process the emotions and thoughts attached to the loss at the time the loss occurs. With delayed grief, the feelings of grief may hit you all at once after the loss, or they may come as waves of grief that you experience over an extended period.

Signs of delayed grief

Grief doesn’t affect people in the same way. Our minds and bodies process stress and stressful experiences in different ways, so there is a range of signs that may indicate delayed grief.

The person may experience fatigue or low energy levels. Likewise, they may have sleep troubles, whether getting to sleep or staying asleep. The grieving may dream about the one lost or have frequent nightmares.

Loneliness and overwhelming feelings of sadness may tax a person, or they may experience feelings of apathy. Cognitive problems, such as concentrating and remembering things, can surface. A strong longing for the person you lost or recurring memories of your loved one may sap all your energy.

You may feel angry, bitter, or irritable and be easily triggered by trivial things. These mood swings can be unpredictable. Likewise, you may feel anxious often. Physical symptoms could include muscle aches and pains, as well as changes in appetite. You may eat too much or too little as compared to the previous months and weeks.

Handling delayed grief well

In many ways, delayed grief is like other forms of grief, and the way you deal with it will look the same. The main thing with grief is to give yourself room to process it, to feel what you feel, and not to avoid it or pretend that it doesn’t exist. Some of the ways to take care of yourself and handle your grief well include the following:

Self-care.

Taking care of your health is an important step in the healing process. Your self-care routine can include regular exercise, sleeping, and waking up at a consistent time. Likewise, eating a balanced and healthy diet, making moderate use of social media, and choosing face-to-face connection with others over isolation may help.

Self-compassion.

Grief is a process, and it doesn’t proceed in a straightforward manner. You need to be patient with yourself as you experience a swathe of emotions that can be painful, uncomfortable, and downright inconvenient at times.

No major decisions.

As you deal with loss, it is wise to postpone taking any major life decisions, where possible, such as switching jobs, getting married, having another child, or moving. These major events take emotional capacity to process, and in this season, you may need to just focus on healing. Simplifying your life can help you better focus on processing your grief.

Seek support.

Whether by talking with loved ones, joining a grief support group, or reaching out to a Christian grief counselor, you can find support on your journey with grief. Your counselor can also help you by ascertaining what treatment options may benefit you, including talk therapy and medication.

Finding support for the grieving process

If you are struggling with delayed grief, reach out to us at Keller Christian Counseling in Texas today. We will set you up with an appointment with a Christian counselor in Keller, Texas to walk you through your difficult emotions.