Activities For Christian Married Couples: Games to Spice Up Your Sex Life

Marriage is work! I often hear people talk about how beautiful marriage is and the love, sunshine, and rainbows; it is all those things and more! However, it can also be tough. And guess what – the longer you are married, the more challenging it can become, especially when it comes to your sex life.

It is nothing to be ashamed of. Most couples hit a point in their relationship where sex can feel routine or sometimes even be nonexistent. Many times, the topic of sex can be difficult to navigate. In my therapy space, every topic is fair game. It’s okay if there are problems in paradise because nothing is off limits. This is a safe space to talk about literally anything! So let’s dive into it.

Advice for Christian Married Couples

First off, I think it is important to address that even though marriage is work, it is also fun. As adults, we put work toward anything we do, whether that is for our job, relationships, physical health, mental health, playing games, cooking, etc. Everything requires effort or work.

In romantic relationships, we sometimes tend to forget that our partner needs our conscious effort as well. In order to have a successful relationship, we must be willing to do the work. We cannot expect to just pray for a better relationship. While prayer is needed, we also need to put forth the energy.

What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. – James 2:14-17, NIV

Tips to Spice Up Your Sex Life as a Married Couple

Now you may be wondering, “How do we put effort into our sex life?” I’m so glad you asked. This article will give you some tips and activities that will help you spice up your marriage and sex life while remaining true to your values.

Tip # 1: Exploration

How well do you know your partner? Do you know their likes and dislikes in the bedroom? What have you tried that worked? What have you tried that did not work? Did you discuss why it may or may not have worked with your partner? Don’t be afraid to try new things to test what works for you and your partner, because everyone is different, and as we grow, we change. Keep in mind that what may have worked before can change.

The important part of exploration is being okay with getting it wrong and not taking it personally if your partner expresses a dislike. If you get offended, it can be difficult for your partner to open up to you and be honest. In the same token, you and your partner must acknowledge each other’s efforts.

Be considerate that they are trying and sensitive to their vulnerability. We have all been in the position where anxiety kicks in while trying something that we are not confident in, and it can be scary. Keep that in mind while you are exploring with your partner.

Some activity ideas you can try exploring with your partner:

• Sexy dice
• Sexy boardgames or card games for couples
• Hot oil massages with a happy ending
• Food items
• Toys

These are activities that help get libido going. Some of these suggestions can be controversial, so be sure to see what your partner’s threshold is. If you have never tried it, be open to it. What is the harm of trying it? If you do not like it, you never have to do it again, or you can wait until you feel comfortable trying it again. Know that it is possible that the time you tried may have been poor timing, for whatever array of reasons.

Tip #2: Foreplay

People often think foreplay is sexual. However, according to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, foreplay is 1) erotic stimulation preceding sexual intercourse or 2) action or behavior that precedes an event. So, while it can be sexual, it can also simply be action or work. Work – that word sounds familiar, doesn’t it?

Learning what makes your partner happy and learning what makes you happy will help spice up the bedroom before you even make it there. If you do it right, it may be difficult to even make it to the bedroom. You can start thinking about what you can do for your partner that will make them feel sexy as well as what can you do for yourself that will help you get in the mood.

Different forms of foreplay can include:

• Doing household chores so that your partner can have a break from it. An example is if your partner is at work all day and you are off, have a clean home when they walk through the door with some candles lit
• Cook them a meal
• Rub their feet after a long day
• Run them a bath
• Lay clothes out for them to wear after they get out of the tub/shower
• Lotion their body for them after they shower
• Cater to their needs
• Listen to them when they talk about their day
• Text them throughout the day so that they know you are thinking of them
• Send them a spicy text to get their imagination working
• Kiss them all over their body and don’t forget the hot spots
• Ask them what they want from you

These are just a few suggestions that I can guarantee will work with the right amount of effort. There are plenty that aren’t listed here, but feel free to book a session with me and we can explore more ideas.

Tip #3 – Take Care of Yourself

To have an enjoyable sex life, you have to be attracted to the person you are trying to have sex with. I understand that this can be a difficult task, especially when there are other factors such as children or health issues. Though these outside factors can make it more difficult, it is still essential that you put in the conscious effort to take care of yourself.

This is not just for your partner to be attracted to you, it is also important for you to feel good about yourself. If you are not feeling good about yourself, it will affect your libido in a negative way. A lot of times you may not even realize what is contributing to your low libido and can’t express why you are not feeling like having sex lately.

Everything mentioned above can help, but sometimes it won’t if you are not feeling yourself. If your mental or physical state is not in a good place, it can make you withdraw and or avoid sex altogether. Your partner wants you to enjoy yourself and make it enjoyable in the bedroom, not just show up.

Suggestions for self-care:

• Stay on top of your personal hygiene (i.e. showering, shaving, dental care, hair care, nail care, etc.)
• Eat healthier foods
• Drink water
• Spend alone time or “me time” doing things you enjoy
• Go out with friends together and separately. It is important to have a social life together and separately
• Work out to stay physically healthy
• Stretch
• Read your Bible and pray separately and together
• Communicate your needs
• Surround yourself with a healthy support system
• Get involved in an activity

If you need more tips on how to continue to improve yourself and your marriage, book a session with me so I can help guide you through these things. I look forward to hearing from you soon.