Advice for New Moms: Encouragement from a Christian Perspective

That first night home with your new baby is unforgettable! You stare at your little one’s face and touch the smooth skin of their cheek. How does God love me so much to give me such a beautiful blessing? you wonder.

You tuck your baby into bed and fall blissfully asleep, blessed. But then midnight rolls around. The baby cries, and you tumble out of bed, disoriented and confused. You feed, diaper, burp, and cuddle that baby to sleep, only to have to do it all over again, two hours later.

I’m a mom?

When did that happen? Becoming a mother may happen progressively over time, but when you hold your baby in your arms for the first time, reality hits. To say that motherhood changes you feels like the understatement of the century. You’re not just caring for a tiny little human, you’re becoming something new, too.

Suddenly, you’re required to demonstrate patience in a way you’ve never had to, and you love in ways you could have never imagined. Your new label, Mom, is a badge of honor that, while amazing, may take some time to get used to.

Now you’re the one who is supposed to have all the answers and the person responsible for everything. It seems like yesterday that you were a kid yourself. It can feel overwhelming, like the weight of the world is resting solidly on your tired postpartum shoulders. Day by day, you will find your routine, discover strengths that you never knew you had, and learn that it’s okay not to have all the answers.

This too shall pass

There’s an old saying that gets passed down from one generation of parents to the next that, though simple, carries a mountain of truth: “The days are long, but the years are short.” (Gretchen Rubin)

When you’re in the thick of it, navigating diapers, the cries, doctor visits, and the exhaustion, you may wonder if your life will ever be normal again. You might secretly long for the days you could sleep uninterrupted and wear nice clothes without worrying about spit-up.

The truth is, your life will probably never look normal again if you define normal as the life you had before you had children. That doesn’t mean that you won’t find a new normal. You will settle into a routine and find your groove. You will become more efficient at diapering, the middle-of-the-night waking will happen less often, and you will start to understand your child more and more as time marches on.

With each day, your baby will become increasingly self-sustaining. In the coming years, you will not have to feed your child or help them go to the bathroom. In the meantime, you can learn how to enjoy the good moments and make it through the hard ones.

Care for yourself

In the whirlwind of caring for your baby, it’s easy to forget that you have needs. It is said, “You can’t pour from an empty cup!” You need to think of ways to fill your cup. This can mean:

• Resting when the baby rests, even if the dishes aren’t done.
• Accepting meals from family and friends or ask someone to set up a meal train for the first few weeks.
• If someone you trust offers to babysit or extends a helping hand, accept the offer without guilt!

Sometimes, the smallest luxuries like a long, uninterrupted shower, a meal, or even a short walk can do wonders for your mental health. Even though being a mother is one of the most selfless jobs on the planet, it’s important to prioritize your own well-being. When you’re strong and healthy, you will be better able to love and care for your little one.

Assume the best about people

Once you have a baby, every parent you know will offer advice. It’s natural to feel frustrated when those in your life give unsolicited advice. While it can feel frustrating for you, most people, do so from love.

When you feel irritated about being told how to care for your baby, remember that most people have good intentions. It can be their way of connecting with you and showing interest and investment in you and your baby.

You don’t have to listen to every piece of advice, but it’s also smart to consider the words of those who have walked before you. As a mom, you’ll quickly learn what works and what doesn’t. Trust your doctor and your gut because you know your baby better than anyone else. Smile, say thank you. Then, use the advice that fits and discard the rest.

Gain appreciation

Another magical thing happens when you become a mother. You begin to understand your own mother more. Not many people think about the sacrifices their own parents made for them growing up. Until they face being a parent themselves, they can’t relate to the selflessness of parenting.

As a mom, you start to notice the little things your own mom did, like staying up late when you were sick, juggling work and home responsibilities, and supporting you through your breakups and bad grades. The frustrations you once felt toward her choices may soften into understanding and gratitude, as you evolve as a mother.

Becoming a mother can also highlight areas where your own parents fell short. Maybe there were moments when you felt unsupported or misunderstood. Motherhood gives you the perspective to see where your own mother thrived and where she didn’t. It also offers the opportunity to forgive her for the ways she fell short. It allows you to take the best of what she gave you and build on it, while making choices to change what didn’t serve you well as a child.

Learn about your Father

When you become a parent, you start to gain a new perspective on how God views you. Even if you had loving and godly parents, it can still be hard to understand the depth of love and protectiveness a parent has toward their children. Experiencing this love experience firsthand gives you a new understanding.

The love you feel toward your child mirrors, in some ways, the love God has had for you your whole life. As you start to identify with the unconditional devotion and responsibility that God has for you, you will grow in love for Him and learn to turn to Him when you feel unqualified to parent.

Therapy Support: Additional Advice for New Moms

Even with practical help from others and your faith, there will be days when exhaustion, worry, and doubt can weigh you down. Therapy is an extraordinary tool to help you make sense of the wonderful, albeit confusing rollercoaster called motherhood. A therapist can provide you with a nonjudgmental place to talk about postpartum anxiety and unresolved feelings from your own childhood. Therapy can also offer validation for the stress of motherhood.

A New Chapter

Motherhood might change everything from your dress size to your sleep schedule, but it also uncovers depths of love that you never even knew existed. It teaches you patience in a way that no maternity book could ever explain and stretches your heart beyond its previously known limits. The challenges are real, but so are the joys! The giggles and the little hand grasping yours for comfort could never be dimmed by a few stretch marks.

When you pause on those sleepless nights and break down during endless diaper changes, you’ll recognize something incredible. You are becoming a mother, a person that your child can look up to.

If you want to discover support in this new role and pursue additional advice for new moms, talking to one of the counselors in our office is a great step. Connect with us today via phone or through the online directory on this website.