Conflicts from resentment or toxic behavior can create discord in the family. These conflicts look different for each family depending on the dynamics of that family during the child-rearing years. Emotions of resentment can manifest and create a turbulent relationship between family members. Understanding how to implement conflict resolution strategies is vital to reduce the lasting effects of these difficult moments.
It is to one’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel. – Proverbs 20:3, NIV
Some of the Common Conflicts in Families
The common conflicts found in families are often rooted in prior treatment. Adult children often slip into these behaviors during family functions. Here are a few of the common behaviors that can create a conflict between adult children.
- Poor communication.
- Financial issues.
- Behavioral issues.
- Beliefs and values.
- Childhood experience.
- Lack of boundaries.
- Difference in parenting.
- Lifestyle choices.
- Differences in culture related to spouses.
Conflict Resolution Strategies for Families
Deciding to resolve the conflict within a family begins with choosing beforehand to create a framework for resolution strategies. This will take effort and patience. Creating a list of conflict resolution strategies for the family can help reduce the tensions.
Stop fighting
The first strategy involves choosing to stop fighting. This means that each person will decide to participate in a healthy and calm discussion that includes the willingness to listen. Proactive resolutions can consist of choosing steps that lead to a desired outcome instead of getting caught in the cycle of conflict.
Self-evaluation
When each person is allowed to address the situation, it should be done on a factual basis, not emotionally. This means the input is based on experience and not anger or resentment. There is no need for blame in the process of resolving conflict.
Discussion
The best way to work through conflict is to decide to have a calm and orderly discussion. Each person involved should be allowed to speak. There should also be mutual respect as each shares their concerns. During the discussion, it is good to see the situation from the perspective of the person talking. This expression of empathy can create an understanding of what each person may be feeling.
Identify
Identifying the problem needs to be done in a manner that reflects each person’s thought process. Because each person is different, there will be different perspectives on what the problem is and how it can be resolved.
Compromise
To accomplish conflict resolution, compromise from all parties involved is necessary. It’s not about winning or losing. The only way a perspective will be heard is if the person shares it with the group.
Continue talking
To maintain lifelong relationships a family needs to understand the best way to resolve conflicts without resorting to estrangement. It is important to speak honestly and with loving-kindness. By deciding to keep the lines of communication open, the cycle of conflict will be broken. Communication will cultivate a desire to change which will help resolve conflict.
Next Steps for Conflict Resolution
Following the above conflict resolution strategies won’t remove the conflict unless each person is willing to participate and work toward resolution. If there is a difficulty with having a calm discussion, reach out to a Christian counselor at Keller Christian Counseling in Texas. They can help create a faith-based strategy plan for conflict resolution. Contact our office today at Keller Christian Counseling in Texas to schedule your first risk-free appointment.
Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. – Philippians 4:5, NIV
“Country Road”, Courtesy of Annie Spratt, Unsplash.com, Unsplash+ License;
- Cyndi Kay Green: Author
Cyndi Kay Green is a freelance writer and owner of CyndiKay Media. In June 2020, she left the corporate world to become a full-time writer. She has been writing since 1996 with hopes of being able to walk in this calling that God had placed in her he...
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