Long-Distance Relationship Advice: Challenges and Tips

Being in a long-distance relationship is not for the faint of heart. Trying to grow and cultivate a relationship, consider the possibility of marriage, and simply enjoy the friendship of your significant other is much more challenging when you don’t get to spend much time together in person.

There are many challenges unique to this situation, including how to build trust and balance your individual lives while apart. But long-distance relationships can be rewarding, and fulfilling, and grow stronger through the challenge of separation.

Facts about long-distance relationships

Chances are you’ve either been in a long-distance relationship yourself, or you know someone who has. Even though most people try to date in closer proximity to one another, LDRs are common too. For the most part, “LDR” refers to a dating or possibly engaged couple who can’t live close by for practical reasons but plans to do so at some point.

According to a study reported by PR Newswire, most long-distance relationships (71%) happen due to work or educational reasons. Some of them begin because people who live far away from each other meet online.

Long-distance relationships also include having a spouse who is deployed through the military, or a spouse who travels a large percentage of the time for work.

Overall, LDRs aren’t considered pleasant because they necessitate long periods away from the person you love. One study found that almost one-third of respondents said they would avoid ever being in another LDR. Because these relationships are uniquely challenging, it’s important to be intentional about cultivating the relationship when you’re far apart.

Common challenges in a long-distance relationship

What are some of the most common issues couples face in an LDR?

Lack of physical intimacy. Although this applies more to married couples than to unmarried couples who are committed to celibacy before marriage, it’s also true that simply being in one another’s physical presence is something irreplaceable. Face-to-face communication is different from video chatting.

Trust issues. Some people struggle with reassurance that their partner wouldn’t cheat on them when they don’t get to spend most of their free time together. But LDRs themselves aren’t associated with infidelity any more than “proximal” relationships are. The rates of infidelity in both kinds of relationships are largely the same. (SWNS Digital)

Having separate friend groups. It’s hard to cultivate mutual friendships and social circles when you can’t spend time with the people in each other’s lives.

Scheduling challenges. Depending on the distance between each of you, you might be in separate time zones or have completely different routines. It can be difficult to schedule a time to talk with each other during the day, much less meet up and visit. It can also be expensive to travel back and forth.

Lots of time using technology. Technology is a wonderful tool, but it’s never a replacement for real life. Not only does being in an LDR probably mean that you’ll be glued to your phone more often than usual, but it’s also difficult to navigate conflict and misunderstandings through the medium of a text message or video chat, versus being able to talk in person.

Tips for a long-distance relationship

What are some of the best ways to cultivate your relationship and healthy communication when you’re physically far apart?

Create a routine around communication. Having predictable rhythms for when you’ll communicate with each other builds trust, creates confidence that it will happen, and gives you something to look forward to the next time you talk to your significant other.

Build healthy individual routines. The more you continue to build your own lives, the more you will be able to live a fully integrated life that doesn’t solely revolve around your significant other. This is a valuable life skill for anyone in a relationship, long distance or not.

Don’t overlook red flags. Be careful not to attribute unhealthy dynamics to the stress of a long-distance relationship, rather than to a toxic pattern or a character problem. Make sure you’re getting an outside perspective now and then.

Give yourself other things to which you can look forward. Try to make consistent plans to see each other if possible. Also, make consistent plans on your own so that you’re not just living from visit to visit.

Include other people in your visits. It can be tempting to spend all your time together as a couple when you do get to spend time in person but try to incorporate a little friend or family time as well. This helps your relationship grow in community, not just in isolation.

Christian counseling for relationships

If you’re in a long-distance relationship, consider whether Christian couples counseling or individual counseling may be helpful for you. Individual counseling can help you live a balanced and well-rounded life as you navigate your LDR. Couples counseling can provide you with tools, strategies, and advice to overcome the challenges of getting to know each other at a distance.

Contact our office today to schedule your first risk-free session with one of the experienced counselors at Keller Christian Counseling in Texas.