Navigating Holiday Traditions in a Blended Family

The holiday season should be about celebrating the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. To some, the season does bring about positive spiritual growth and the opportunity to make lasting family memories. However, as exciting as the holiday season appears with its shiny Christmas balls, neatly wrapped gifts, and twinkling lights, it can also trigger stress and sadness around holiday traditions within a blended family.

This time of year can be challenging even for the most well-adjusted of families, but adding the extra challenges of blending two families can make it even more difficult. No matter how respectful and careful you try to be, challenges surrounding blended family time and traditions are bound to arise.

Tips for Navigating Holiday Traditions as a Blended Family

Here are some ideas to help you navigate the complexities of blended family Christmases.

Remember it’s not a competition

Don’t compete with your exes to have the most over-the-top Christmas. Respect their boundaries and time, and be flexible with your schedule. Remember that Christmas is about celebrating Christ and not the time to demand your own way or be difficult when scheduling family gatherings.

Buy or make gifts that show you know and understand your family, not that you are trying to buy their love or outdo your ex. Be willing to openly communicate with your new partner and their family, as well as the exes involved, regarding gift budgets and expectations, so everyone feels respected and heard.

Start new holiday traditions

Don’t shy away from the reality that your life looks different from how it did in the past. Remember the past and appreciate it for what it contributed to your story, but be willing to embrace the opportunity to create a new shared tradition with your new family.

Choose a holiday-themed activity that everyone, regardless of age and agility, can enjoy together, such as a family game night, watching a special movie, or baking holiday treats together. Be inclusive so no one in the family feels left out or disrespected.

Don’t make the new tradition too complicated or dependent on weather or other outside factors. You want to be sure that you can replicate this tradition annually. These new traditions will help solidify and acknowledge the bond between each member of your new blended family.

Be flexible

Be mindful that not everything during the holiday season or revolving around your new traditions will go exactly the way you had hoped, planned, or expected. Be flexible and adapt to situations as they arise.

If one of your favorite traditions is not enjoyed by the new members of your family, learn to adapt the tradition or let it go. It’s important to manage your expectations reasonably and adjust your plan as needed.

Keep flexibility in mind when scheduling your family gathering, too. If you and your ex want to celebrate on the same day and time, consider rescheduling your event, if possible. Show the love and generosity of the Lord, even in small gestures. If it’s not possible to reschedule your holiday event, see if there is a way to compromise.

Allow your ex to join in for some of your family festivities, or truncate your festivities so your children can attend both parents’ holiday celebrations. Don’t violate your or anyone else’s boundaries; model humility to help your children see the love of the Lord. Remember that setting an example for your children is a far better gift than anything you can wrap up and put under the tree.

Simplify

Prioritize celebrating Christ’s birth and spending quality time with your family. Don’t focus on going over the top with gift-giving, decorating, or trying to one-up your ex. Especially in the first year together as a blended family, you don’t want to overcomplicate your life and add unnecessary stress. Start early and plan out the most important traditions with you and your partner, and eliminate any tradition that no longer serves your family.

Learn how to politely scale down your holiday commitments and give yourself an extra dose of grace. Giving yourself a break from your traditional holiday commitments can help you make time for new traditions.

Set out a few meaningful decorations from each side of the blended family so everyone feels represented. Be sure to add some new Christmas-themed décor items that you create or buy together to symbolize the new unified family.

Christian Counseling for Your Blended Family

Holiday seasons are stressful, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed and stressed. If you are struggling more than you can manage on your own, reach out to a professional therapist. Individual counseling can help you learn how to manage your anxiety and expectations.

A family therapist might be helpful when trying to blend families. A professional family therapist can help provide strategies and support to help the family blend more smoothly and address any underlying issues. The Christian therapists and counselors at Keller Christian Counseling in Texas can help the whole family navigate this transition well. Contact our office to meet with a Christian counselor in Keller, Texas today.