Beyond Shyness: Signs of Social Anxiety in Children

Have you ever wondered if your child was just being shy or reserved, or whether his or her behavior might be a sign of something more, such as social anxiety in children? If so, read on. This article may be for you.

A shy child seems hesitant or withdrawn when meeting new people or being in an unfamiliar social setting, but typically, this is just a temporary feeling of discomfort that does not disrupt his or her life. Social anxiety, on the other hand, is an intense fear of social situations that can significantly impact your child’s emotional well-being and daily life, causing him or her to avoid doing even the things they would like to do.

A child with social anxiety is so afraid of being negatively judged, rejected, humiliated, or embarrassed, that they refuse to go to school, play dates, or public places like restaurants or the mall because they are scared about what will happen and what others will think of them.

Telltale Signs of Social Anxiety in Children

Signs of social anxiety in children can be behavioral, mental, emotional, or physical, and vary from child to child as well as in their intensity. Some children may manifest these symptoms in all social situations; others only in performance-related ones, such as having to speak in class or try out for a sports team.

Behavioral A child with social anxiety may act clingy and say he or she feels sick to avoid going to school or daycare, cry or have a tantrum, speak very softly, avoid eye contact, and/or have trouble making friends or talking to peers.

Mental A child suffering from social anxiety tends to worry constantly over everyday events and have irrational fears that are seemingly out of proportion to what triggers them. The dread of interacting with others may lead them to frequently seek reassurance by asking questions such as “What if I do something embarrassing?” or “What if everyone thinks I’m dumb?”

Emotional A child with social anxiety is extremely self-conscious and scared of being judged, embarrassed, or humiliated in social situations. They are afraid of meeting new people, being in unfamiliar settings, or talking to strangers. Even the thought of an upcoming social event such as the start of school or a birthday party can cause extreme distress.

Physical When facing a scary situation, a child with social anxiety may exhibit symptoms such as shortness of breath, rapid heartbeat, sweating, blushing, dizziness or lightheadedness, shaking, upset stomach, freezing up, or panic attacks.

Some Things You Can Do to Help Your Child

• Prepare them by detailing what will happen so they know what to expect.
• Script and role-play distressing scenarios at home.
• Avoid criticizing them, speaking negatively about their fear, or expressing frustration. They need your patience, empathy, and unconditional love.
• Enable them to feel heard and supported by accepting and validating his or her anxiety. Ask questions to help tease out specifics about what exactly they are afraid of.
• Tell them about situations that make you anxious and how you cope with them.
• Show them how to use relaxation techniques such as deep breathing to calm themselves when feeling anxious or overwhelmed.
• Teach them how to recognize negative thoughts such as believing that others are judging them unfavorably, and how to replace them with more positive, realistic ones.
• Establish a worry time where you set a timer and have him or her imagine every worst-case scenario and scary thing that could happen and how it makes them feel. Then brainstorm together about ways to lessen the possibility of those things happening.
• Use a stepladder approach in which you help them do little things out of their comfort zone. Start with something as simple as saying hello to a friend, or making eye contact with someone they just met, and then gradually progress to more scary things, one small step at a time, praising each successful attempt.
• Consider Christian counseling for children in Keller, Texas. Social anxiety disorder is treatable. A trained mental health professional at Texas Christian Counseling in Keller can use specialized techniques such as cognitive behavior therapy and exposure response prevention to help your child reframe negative thinking patterns and equip them with coping skills that enable them to handle their anxiety in social settings.

If you would like to set up an appointment to meet with one of the faith-based counselors in Keller, Texas, please give us a call today at Texas Christian Counseling, Keller.