Everything that is living grows and changes. Though we would like to keep certain things the way they are, life is constantly moving and becoming new. To keep up with all these changes, it’s important to be adaptable and to recognize the ever-changing nature of life and relationships. This fluidity and movement applies to relationships such as marriage, and couples need to be equipped to handle the changes that will come. Couples counseling can help.
Marriage as a relationship with seasons
A relationship is like a living thing – it changes and grows over time, taking on new characteristics and gaining wisdom and beauty along the way. Take for instance the relationship between a child and its parent. The relationship changes as the child grows into an independent and functioning adult. It is natural and healthy for that parent-child relationship to mature and change as the people in it change.
The same could be said for marriages. After a couple first meets and one day says their vows, their relationship begins and then goes on to grow with them. When they’ve been married for 20 years, they are unlikely to be the same people, and their marriage is also unlikely to be the same as it was when they started. They’ve waged battles together, grown to understand one another, and hopefully developed a deeper appreciation of each other with time.
A marriage that lasts through the years is actually the story of multiple marriages, as the same couple rediscover one another and recommit to each other as they go along. People grow and change, and who a couple is when they get married is likely not who they are many years down the road. The key to the couple maintaining their vows is to grow together, and to have their marriage grow with them as their experiences multiply.
The things that a marriage needs when it begins will differ from when that couple has children, when a serious illness rocks the family, or when job loss and economic instability hits. If the couple experiences infidelity, what they need then won’t look the same as at other times. All this is to say that a couple needs the ability to adapt to changing seasons to maintain the depth and strength of their relationship.
Some of the other needs and ways change can come into marriage include the following:
Goals
As a couple goes along, the goals they had when they began may shift subtly or even quite radically. The couple may have been aiming for goals such as buying a home, and that goal might change as their financial circumstances evolve.
Getting older
Getting older and gaining experience through life can change your perspectives, and it can raise different needs for a couple. Getting older might mean the onset of health conditions such as Alzheimer’s or even physical infirmity. How a couple supports each other in their later years won’t look the same as when they began decades earlier.
Chronic or serious illness
When a spouse gets sick, that can change the dynamic in the relationship. Responsibilities shift, the finances might take a hit, being able to take vacations or make new purchases could become impossible, and other hopes and plans might need to get shelved for the time being.
Couples counseling for different seasons in marriage
Couples counseling is a form of talk therapy that helps couples work through their issues and areas of concern. The couple meets with a counselor for several weeks or months as they discuss an area where they may be struggling or needing clarity. The counselor creates a safe space for the couple to share their thoughts and experiences, and through the discussion, they gain a deeper understanding of themselves and each other.
A couple doesn’t need to be undergoing hardship to pursue counseling. Every marriage needs strengthening, and couples can always brush up on skills such as communication and conflict resolution. The counseling space is a place where the couple can get independent and expert guidance as they think through and work together on resolving issues that may be affecting their marriage.
A marriage will have its own story of joy, pain, triumph, and struggle, and a couple can get help navigating these varied seasons with the help of a couples counselor. A counselor can help the couple understand one another’s needs and how best to support each other as they change. They can also learn emotional resilience and grow in their ability to be vulnerable with each other, which will deepen intimacy and a sense of connection.
Couples counseling in Keller, Texas can help a couple as they work through changes in their lives and relationship. They can grow together as they navigate various seasons in their marriage, strengthening it and continuing to honor their vows and each other.
You and your loved one can reach out to a Christian couples counselor in Keller, Texas to work on your relationship, preparing it to weather storms and flourish. Contact our office at Keller Christian Counseling in Texas today.
Photo:
“Dock Boots” Courtesy of Andrew Neel, Unsplash.com, Public Domain License
- Jennifer Kooshian: Author
Jennifer Kooshian lives in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan with her husband of 32 years on a small homestead near Lake Superior. They have five adult children and one grandson. She also has an ever-changing number of chickens, a mellow old cat, and a...
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