A committed relationship provides space for a couple to build trust, intimacy, and a life together. These are precious things that take time and enormous effort to build, and they can be shattered in moments. The betrayal of infidelity and affairs can undermine what a couple has built, but it doesn’t necessarily doom a relationship. It is possible for a relationship to emerge stronger than ever from a dark season of wrestling with the aftermath of infidelity.

If you are looking to work on yourself or your relationship after infidelity has happened, and you are looking for Christian counseling in Keller, Texas, then Keller Christian Counseling can partner with you on your journey toward healing and wholeness.

Get connected with a Christian Counselor
Please contact our reception team at
(817) 918-1787

What is Infidelity or an Affair?

Every couple has their own boundaries for their relationship. For some couples, they aren’t comfortable with either partner having friends of the opposite sex that they don’t know, while other couples might put a boundary on pornography or around how they use social media. Most couples will also put a hedge around sexual intimacy, making it off-limits for anyone else to enjoy. Many couples also regard emotional intimacy as something exclusive to the primary relationship.

Depending on the conversations they’ve had and expectations that the couple have set for themselves, what constitutes “infidelity” or and “affair” could differ. People think of intimacy and sex in different ways, so each couple can work out for themselves what range of behaviors would constitute infidelity. It should be noted that boundaries do shift, and what may have been seen as okay early on in a relationship might be considered problematic at a later stage.

Broadly speaking, then, infidelity is when a couple’s healthy boundaries for sexual and emotional connection are violated.

Most couples tend to draw the same or similar boundaries around their relationship: that forming an emotional bond or having contact of a sexual nature with another person, whether in person or virtually, constitutes infidelity. Speaking to the situation between married couples, research from the last few decades indicates that between 10-15% or married women cheat on their partners, while 20-25% of men cheat.

While the numbers have been consistent, with the average rate of cheating being around 20%, what has changed are the attitudes toward cheating. It used to be accepted that one’s spouse would cheat, but expectations in relationships today are set toward fidelity.

According to some statistics, a significant proportion of the reason why divorce happens is linked to marital unfaithfulness. Around 60% of marriages end as a result of infidelity.

There are any number of reasons why people have affairs, and these include reasons as varied as the following:

  • As a form of revenge on a spouse who has also cheated.
  • To end the relationship by committing an egregious violation against it. An affair may be a desperate act that signals the desire to leave a relationship.
  • Because of feeling unhappy within the marriage. This may be due to a lack of connection within the marriage, poor communication, low sexual intimacy, chronic health struggles, financial stress, and low commitment from the other spouse.
  • As a means of self-exploration. The infidelity is a way to experiment and explore facets of oneself that aren’t being fulfilled in the marriage.
  • To follow the untrodden path. People sometimes ask themselves the question, “What if?” They can wonder what their lives would look like if they’d not gotten into their current relationship, or if they’d entered another. This potent question, if given its head, may lead one toward an old flame and the rekindling of an old romance.
  • The opportunity arose. Infidelity can also happen because the opportunity presents itself, and it wasn’t sought after. Infidelity can thus happen while away on a business trip, at the office, or with a neighbor. In some cases, the presence and ingestion of alcohol is a factor, and it means one’s judgment is also impaired.
  • Past unresolved trauma. The experiences that a person has affects them in profound ways that aren’t easily calculable. Unresolved childhood trauma that stems from divorce, unhealthy attachment caused by abandonment, parental abuse, or unrealistic relationship expectations all impede self-development, and they affect how a person views healthy intimate relationships, resulting in unhealthy relationship behaviors such as cheating.

Understanding why a person has an affair is not tantamount to endorsing their behavior. Infidelity violates trust, and it hurts people. However, understanding why it happened can help you chart a way forward.

Infidelity strikes at the heart and foundation of an intimate relationship. It undermines trust, and raises the specter of the relationship ending. It is possible, however, for a couple to recover from infidelity and emerge stronger than before.

Infidelity can expose areas in the relationship where the couple aren’t communicating effectively, needs that perhaps are not being met, conflict that isn’t being resolved, past traumas that haven’t been addressed, and ways in which accountability isn’t happening.

Through Christian counseling in Keller, Texas, a couple can address the issues that lie behind the infidelity. The Christian counselors at Keller Christian Counseling in Texas are trained to understand the dynamics in a relationship that may lead to infidelity, and how to strengthen the relationship.

Your counselor will be compassionate and empathetic, providing you space to explore the issues in the relationship, and giving you the tools you need to address your concerns.

If infidelity is an unwelcome reality that has entered your life, and if you’re looking for Christian counseling in Keller, Texas, you can walk with the Christian counselors at Keller Christian Counseling toward healing, forgiveness, and growth.

Get connected with a Christian Counselor
Please contact our reception team at
(817) 918-1787